I’m Lex. As you can tell, it rhymes with sex. I’ve been called Sexy Lexy. I’ve also been called the Blow Job Queen. I’m a cougar. I can’t write a story that doesn’t have some sexual element to it. I’m not obsessed. Really. Well, I am but not with sex… with the promise of sex. That is a whole other thing.

See, the promise of the best sex of your life is what I sell. If you buy my books (other than any dark tale I might write) what you’re buying is the promise of the best sex of your life with the man who spins your wheels faster than a funny car in finals and topped off with a happy ending that has promises that go on forever. It’s a fantasy and a really hot one at that. Who doesn’t want a dream that makes you feel that good? And who wouldn’t want a reality like that? Sure life sucks ass, but you can still dream and hope and flirt! And the dreaming, hoping, and flirting make you feel good and make life bearable.

I have an issue with people who are too serious all the time. They suck the life outta me. You only have this one life (unless you believe in reincarnation like my pal Mary Winter) so why the hell would you waste that one shot by being serious all the time? You can talk about a serious subject in a humorous way. It is certainly one way to get a reader’s attention. Why do you think all motivational speakers start out with some kind of humorous remark or story? Because it feels good to laugh and smile and whoever makes you do those things then commands your attention.

Recently, I got slapped at on a group for being flirty. My comment, which actually wasn’t a flirty comment but a kinda gross one, was in response to the real flirty comment. Someone made a remark about it and basically said he didn’t like how all the topics turned flirty and sexual. He though it was CHILDISH. Now, first of all, children don’t have sex. Adults do. So how can being sexual be childish? (Yes, I know I’m kinda arguing semantics there but that’s a post for another day.) Second, the man obviously didn’t pay any attention to what I actually said or didn’t understand it, because if he had he would have realized that my remark was actually an EWWW moment. And third, if he was going to complain about anything he could have complained about serious writer discussions being derailed by humorous remarks and banter that took the group off topic. THAT would have been a legitimate beef.

Yet, I keep coming back to the flirty and sexual being called childish in what seemed to clearly be a derogative tone to me. It pissed me off. It made me wonder if the man even liked sex. It made me wonder if he was some old grandpa who couldn’t get it up anymore. Or some closet fetish freak who never got to indulge and had become a crankbutt because he’d never known true pleasure.

So I suppose my question regarding the whole thing is this, what the fuck is wrong with having fun? With being flirty? With being amusing or using humor to get your point across? And why the hell do some people thing that things have no value if they’ve been couched in flirty or humorous terms? Why do they think that the only thing that’s worth anything in a writer’s group are the stolid, boring, serious posts that I for one, click delete on instantly? (If it doesn’t grab my attention, if it makes me start going zzzzz, DELETE.)

Tell me why you flirt. What do YOU get out of it?