Today is Nikki’s 20th birthday. I’m feeling rather old because of it. I’m also rather full. We got Claim Jumper dinner delivered by Restaurants on the Run. I ordered cake for her too. What’s a birthday without birthday cake, right? I’ll come back to the cake in a minute. I have more to say about it.

Well, on this day 20 years ago, I screamed my head off. I screamed so loudly that the nurses shut the door because all the other moms thought someone was being murdered. And it’s true. Someone was. ME. I was being split asunder by barely six pounds of flesh that had made me sick for months. I’d already been in the hospital more than a month. I’d lost a lot of weight. I couldn’t eat. I’d had more ultrasounds and amniocentesis’s than the whole maternity ward put together. They induced labor and sent me into a tailspin.

GAH! I was so sick. It was horrid. I was glad to have it all over. But I screamed bloody murder through a whole 5 hours oh labor. I nearly killed a nurse for trying to turn off MTV. I had it tuned to the hard 30 or hard 60 or whatever they called it… They were playing a long block of rock and metal videos. In fact, Nikki popped out during this:

I don’t let her forget it to this day.

Now, here’s the deal with the cake. This is the MOST chocolate you have ever seen in one place before. It’s six or seven layers. I eyed it the same way I eye most hotties.

“Hellllllo, lover. You look awfully sweet and delicious and tender. I’m sure you are nothing but bad for me, but I cannot wait to slip you past my lips and taste you. Oh, yes. Come to mama, you luscious thing.”

Claim Jumper’s Motherlode Chocolate Cake is beyond orgasmic. It is a serious chocolate overdose. This photo does not do justice to the size of this baby. This is a hung porn star of a chocolate cake. Massive, thick, long… chocolate. There’s chocolate chunks in it too. It’s like sucking cock and discovering that cum tastes like a margarita. Heady, rich, and intoxicating.

Nikki and I didn’t finish the slice we got. We didn’t even eat half the slice between us. We forgot to take a photo too but I found this one on Google and you can really tell how big the slice is here.

Yeah, we kinda looked that shocked too. It’s an amazing cake.

So, now the day is nearly over and Nikki will be wanting to play WoW soon. It’s hot here and I’ve overeaten. I didn’t even get more than a bite of my potato cakes. The tri tip was just too yummy and I kept stuffing meat in my mouth… I’m sure you get the picture. *wink*

If you get the chance stop over at Nikki’s blog and leave her a Happy Birthday comment. She didn’t blog today because not only is it her birthday but it’s the one year anniversary of the death of her friend Ariel. Last year was a really bad birthday for her and the memories are still fresh. It’s tough to be awakened on your birthday with a text telling you a friend died in a car accident.

You can leave messages for Nikki at Socially Dead. Have a great weekend and… go get some cake!