So, I’m still working on my third novella and I was thinking about passion. Not the passion of love making or sex, but the passion of writing all by itself. Lately I’ve been in a sort of writing funk and it finally dawned on me that somewhere along the line my passion had ebbed. That’s what I thought at first. It took me some weeks of thinking about that and a conversation with a friend to realize my passion hadn’t gone anywhere. It’s just as much with me as its always been. I blame my funk on the heat of summer and just a writing slump. Now, onto the conversation that thumped me in the head with a big ‘HELLO, SNAP OUT OF IT!’

A friend of mine asked me about my first two works. Dark Robe Heart (from Space Escapes) and Dark Robe Edges. (from The Edge of Desperation, both published by MLR Press) Ah, my friend, you’ve awakened the sleeping passion in me. So, over the next hour or so, I filled him him on the books. I gave him a pretty good synopsis and then I told him about book 3. (yet to be written), and that’s when my passion came pouring from the depths of my soul and back into my mind and my fingers. I sat here, in this chair, telling my friend everything that would happen in book 3, with a little bit of ambiguity, of course, since it’s all still in my mind. Subject to change of course, I told him.

So, in closing today, I’d like to say. Write about what makes your passion burn so hot that there’s absolutely nothing that can bring you down. Love, love, love what you’re writing and don’t sway from it. At least not too far.

Thanks for reading!

Jason

Ok first off I am going to apologize…my blog is a couple of days late and I am a few dollars short.  But then my usual day fell on a Monday and Monday is of course our jump day here at work.

Work, shall we go into that subject.  My roommate is a jerk from hell.  The lowest rung of hell at that.  He seems to think that everything should revolve around him.  As in suck my cock, each my shit…whatever I want goes.  Yes my roommate is a guy…no I am not fucking him.  Wouldn’t if he was the last dick on earth and having sex with him meant that the world would be saved and all that.  He is just rude and to make matters worse thinks he is God’s gift to women.  I have curtains in my bunkhouse room.   In this picture the curtain is up in the air…but for some reason he has a problem with it being closed at night.  He always comes in and opens the corner of the curtain “so that he can have the air conditioner” yet he then closes his curtain which goes all the way to the ground?  HUH  this makes no sence to me, but then I am not a guy so.  He also seems to think it is alright for him to move my fan so that it is pushing the air towards his room instead of towards mine.  The result is that my room ends up hotter than hell while he gets a small amount of air.

Now as for him thinking he is God’s gift to women.  He had tried on several occasions to have sex with me.  I am so not going there.  One is is not my type.  Two he is nasty.  Three I know for a fact he tested positive for an STD not that long ago.  I know this cause he got arrested and my boss found out about it and told me about it.  Hell when I said something to someone else about him having tested positive for one, he yelled at me for talking about him but did NOT deny that he had to get treated for one.  He is one of them guys that has at least 2 woman a week he is having sex with.  The final straw for me today was something that is actually pretty stupid but it was just the be all to end all.  He took the garbage bag out of my room (sounds nice right) filled it with his garbage and left it open just outside the door.  Where if I had not bitched about it, it would have sat for most of the rest of this week.  Until someone else took it out to the big can to get collected.

Then there is DC…he is one of the drivers for the show.  He is another one that gets pissy cause I have turned him down.  He is a pot head.  Now I have smoked a little in my time, but I have never done it and then gotten behind the wheel of anything.  He will get stoned then drive a rig, or even worse he smokes it while driving.  He has been pissy lately cause I won’t do what he tells me to do.  In our weekly “church” meeting…we have a work meeting everyweek that the boss calls “church”…a couple of weeks ago, he tells everyone at the meeting that he will take the show bus to do laundry in the morning and that I am going to drive it that night to take them all to Walmart.  I informed him in no uncertain terms that he had no right to volunteer me for anything.  When he tried to say that Timmy(the boss) does it all the time, I let him know that he was not my boss and he couldnt volunteer me to do anything.  Ever since that night, see I embarrased his ass in front of the whole show, he has been really bitchy with me.  Today in fact, he got pissed cause I parked my truck where he did not want it.  When I called my boss Mary and asked her if there was some place that I could or could not park the pickup and told her where I was and that DC was telling me I couldnt park there, she said fuck him tell him I told you to park there.

It is all not that bad…Really it isnt.  I had 5 interesting weeks with my teenage daughter out here.  Unfortunately, she has decided that she in in love with a guy I was sort of involved with.  I do not mind them dating, he was nothing to me but a friend with benefits.  What bothers me is that everyone else has a problem with it and I am getting all kinds of flack about letting them even hang out together.  Everyone else is convinced that he is taking advantage of her.  Yet I have talked to both of them…they really do like each other.  He is a nice kid…he maybe 26 but he is in so many ways still just a kid himself.  He does his best to take care of her AND he REFUSES to do anything physically with her until she is at least 18…which mind you is in March.  In fact to listen to her, she tried to get him to but he said NO.  They talk on the phone every day now.  He is suppose to be paying her phone bill so that they can continue to talk daily until she is either 18 or no longer living with her father.

I do not have a problem with the age thing, cause I have dated older guys…guys that were a whole lot more than 9 years older than I was.  I have also dated much younger guys.  In fact, at one point I was like 32 and dating a guy that was 17…with his mother and legal guardian’s permission.  So I am a firm believer that I have no ground to stand on to bitch about their age differences.  And I have watched them when they did not know I was looking…the look on both faces is someone that is in LOVE.  Yes she is young…yes she may very well change her mind about him…but I also remember being 17 & 18 and my parents telling me NO…I was bound and determined to prove them wrong.  I was old enough to make my own decisions and I was going to.  I would much rather let them date and have a modeum of control over something than to forbid it like her father wants to do, and have her run off as soon as she turns 18 and have no way of knowing if she is safe or if she is still in school.

She is just a sophmore in high school this year.  She had to stay back in kindergarten and in 5th grade so she is 2 years behind where she should be.  But I want her to GRADUATE high school.  My boyfriend/fiance had to drop out of school in order to support his child when he was like 16 or 17.  He has fought for the last 13 years to finish high school.  He just this year finally got his GED.  I am so proud of him for doing this…but even he says it is so much easier if she just stays in school and does it that way.  I agree.

I have just about 2 weeks left until it is time to leave for home.  I am counting the days…almost counting the hours and minutes until I am able to pack up my stuff and head for Savannah and be with my boyfriend again!!!  The days cannot pass fast enough.

Home life of late has totally sucked. The 18 year old is out to prove me wrong when I told the other two he was the good one. They always told me to beware of the quiet one. Turns out they were right. My 26 year old daughter is reveling in the fact that she is now the good one.
Work has been a bear. Everyone seems to be on vacation at the same time, putting extra work on those who are left. Now everyone is stressing that we are going to be open on Sunday. With all the nurses combined it turns out to be about 2-3 Sundays a year each nurse will have to work. Come on now, I may not like it, but I can handle it. I’d rather do that than stand in the unemployment line.
The husband…good Lord where do I start. He works with his father and brother in a family business. To say he’s been stressed is an understatement. I’m waiting for the guy to pop an artery and stroke out. He has a permanent scowl line on his forehead, his face is always red. If the bags under his eyes sag any further, he’s going to have to lift them up to eat.
His shoulders always look so tense and he blows up at the slightest provocation. One morning he’d left before me as he always does and when I went but the small country store in our town 20 minutes later, his truck was there. On our way out of town to drive to Florida that night I mentioned him still being at the store this morning, just as a conversation started, since I don’t ask how his day was anymore.
Well holy shit, you’d think I’d accused him of robbing a bank. He blew up. Yelling at me about all the stops he’d had to make that morning and how he’d stopped to get coffee. WHOA NELLY. Back up the fucking bus. I told him I would turn around, take him back home and go to Florida by myself. The stress level in the house had taken its toll. Frankly, I was seriously considering not coming back from Florida.
Well, he settled down and apologized, and off we went. We drove the 24 hour trip straight through and got to my daughters house 7:30 the next night. We were unpacking the truck when this guy brought my suitcase into my room.
Whooowee. Handsome, strong broad shoulders and the most welcoming smile I’d seen in a long time. No scowl, no frown lines, this guy looked like he could be a lot of fun. And boy was he. The sex was hot and frequent. Quiet walks on the beach. Fun moments at the water park. Damn I like this guy.
Vacation ended. We had gone to Florida to pick up my 4 year old grandson because my daughter is deploying to Afghanistan for 8 months. The drive home was no big deal. We did stop overnight this time because we had Jadin with us, but the kid travels like a seasoned traveler. He’s very used to it; he’s been doing it since he was 9 months old.
Well it appears I brought that strange man home with me. He walks through the door at night with a smile on his face and appears to have left all the stressors of working with family behind at the shop.
Now I think this has a lot to do with Jadin being here. The boy brightens everybody’s day just by smiling. Could be all the flirting and other fun stuff we did on vacation. But whatever the reason, I’m so very glad that the man I met on vacation didn’t disappear when we got back home. Here’s hoping it’ll last.

Or Dating in the New Millenium

Yep-I’m back to my irreverent self it seems. The pity party got old, the tsk tsk from former friends got irritating and the heavy handed ex got….well…too heavy handed so I bailed. Yep. Jumped ship and did not leave a forwarding address-literally. I’m snug as a horny bug in my little one room apartment with my new queen size bed that has been thoroughly broken in…ahem….. I’ve dipped my toe into the dating pool on the internet and what a difference 20 years makes. I shouldn’t be surprised I suppose. Ipod is on it’s what… seventh generation in ten years of existence so why wouldn’t the dating game have gone thru a few changes as well. And my goodness what wonderful changes. Not only do the posters offer to show you what they have but how they intend to use it-no worries about false advertising. They also have little boxes that you check off in their profile that asks what you are looking for in another person. To my surprise and JOY the one site has a box that says “Fuck Buddy only- no emotional attachment wanted at this time”. My eyes misted over, the clouds parted, the angels sang. I plopped my fat ass down and filled in that profile-heaven was only a few keystrokes away. Accidentally gave myself five inches and aged myself 6 months in my haste to get my profile on line, but what the heck. What’s a few extra inches between two consenting adults.

And, as I was waiting for everything to be approved to be put up on the bulletin board as one of the new fish I had a few random thoughts float thru my lust filled brain. Should I go buy a pair of those false advertising 501 button fly jeans? A little window dressing couldn’t hurt. And maybe I should go get one of those waxes Blake told me about at the convention. Nothing turns a top on more than a smooth bottomed bottom…..uhm….not too sure about that one…might have to revisit it later. We do happen to have an A&F so maybe if I just ran down and took a few notes on what the brainless hotties behind the counter were wearing I might at least look the part of a lonely hottie in need of a pair of strong arms and broad shoulders. Stop shaking your head….I can pout with the best of ‘em! I can look hopelessly lost amongst all the brightly colored boxers. I can shake my head and sigh morosely when confronted with one of those new fangled hangers that won’t hold onto the pants. I can drop something forty times in fifteen minutes so I have to bend over so everyone can get a good look at my ass…..Then again they might mistake me for an A&F sales boy.

Stay tuned for Part Two of Dating in the New Millenium where I’ll go into detail about my first nooner experience.

TTFN

Aeryn