There’s a secret war being waged. It’s been going on for thousands of years while we go through life blissfully unaware that someone—something—is out there jockeying for a place in our quiet existence.

The battle to determine how best to cover our men’s genitalia continues to rage.

I was at a big Valentine’s Day chat on the Midnight Seductions Authors group Saturday- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/midnightseductions -and just happened to post a pic of two truly hot guys in their underwear—one in boxers, one in briefs. The caption read: boxers or briefs?

This little pic generated some hoots and hollers, lots of playful chatter, with women lining up on one side or the other. By the end, however, we’d all decided commando was the true preference. And that should probably end this blog post right here and now. Nope. I’ve got lots to say on the subject of underwear. Stand back, give me room.

Here in the South, a lot of our guys still cling to the traditional whitie tightie—pun intended, and that’s just fine with me. I think I’d be really upset if ol’ Bubba stripped down to a thong. To each his own, of course, but there’s something oddly comforting about those bright white Fruit of the Looms. They’ve been around for quite a while, and it doesn’t look like they’re going to become obsolete any time soon. At least I hope not. Besides, on the right man, they’re not going to stay on him that long anyway. Commando is indeed where it’s at.

People have actually written about the history of underwear. Men’s and women. When I saw that, I kind of figured they’d start out with the old stand by—the fig leaf. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a reference to it anywhere, although I did see a nice pic in a men’s muscle magazine the other day with a guy standing in front of a waterfall wearing nothing but a leaf. I kept imagining him taking a step back and the force of the water knocking that leaf right off his…

Well, the caption said it was a fig leaf, but unless it’s some variety of fig tree I’m not aware of, that leaf was way too big—which made me wonder about the fig leaf cover up in the Bible where Adam and Eve hid their nakedness behind the leaf as a result of their shame over eating the forbidden fruit. The metaphor being pejorative in nature, of course. It didn’t hide much. In other words, everyone saw their shame.

Leather loin cloths were around seven thousand years ago. Now, I know some men wear leather today, but to me that would be pretty sweaty—and not the good kind of sweaty either.

The ancient Greeks used wool to cover their manhood. Talk about chafing! I’m beginning to wonder about who invented baby powder. But that’s for another blog.

Today’s underwear can be over the top and sexy as hell. In addition to those whitie tighties, boxer briefs, and plain old boxers, men now have a choice in a range of explosive color and style. How about thongs, jockstraps, and slingshots? Mesh, please? The pic up top is a sheer mesh jockstrap. It comes in a variety of colors too.

I love the slingshot. I even used that design in my latest book, Latin Rhythm. Here’s the snippet:

Wet, black hair buffeted his shoulders. His swarthy skin glittered with water droplets in the dazzling sunlight. Ripped muscles moved up and down his torso with fluid grace. And, oh my god, barely-there fluorescent orange-and-black swim briefs left nothing to the imagination. His bulky load packed into a tight slingshot said it all.

Want to see a slingshot and some other sexy male underwear? Take a look at this site: http://cocksox.com I so love the header. Although I do have concerns about what that guy is reaching for—or is he scratching?

For a look at male underwear over the ages visit: http://manstouch.com/mensunderwear/historyofmensunderwear.html I particularly love the slide show on this site. There’s one image/painting of a man looking a bit Sir Walter Raleighesque (not sure how to spell that), and his dog is in the pic. The dog seems to have homed in on what I can only describe as a codpiece. Gives new meaning to the term ‘boner’ and looks a lot more like the dog’s lunch than anything else. I guess this look helped with advertising a man’s size too. But as a woman, I’d have questioned the authenticity of the packaging. Hell, I do that now!

Any way you cut it, men’s underwear has changed over the years. It makes me wonder if men pay attention. Well, I guess they do or there wouldn’t be a need for all the changes. But I suspect a man decides early on which style suits him best, and all the wilder variations are reserved for playtime.

I’ve got a kid who lounges around in silk South Park, X Box, Rolling Stones, and Bugs Bunny boxers. And that’s just for hanging out. He prefers the boxer briefs for actual underwear. The men in my life have mostly worn briefs. Although, a few have enjoyed the freedom of boxers. In the early nineties, there was a trend amongst young women (sixteen to twenty-five, I’d say) to wear a pair of men’s boxers on top of their jeans. Thank God that trend is over!

So what’s your SO’s preference? Is he into the form fitting briefs or those loose-fitting boxers? How about the combination boxer-brief? Have you ever purchased him a pair of naughtier-than-hell thongs? Did he look at you like you’d lost your mind or grin and put them on, following up with a sexy dance just for you?

Ya’ll will have to excuse me now. Bubba is calling.

For a look at my slingshot-wearing hot Latin hunk, pick up a copy of Latin Rhythm at Pink Petal Books. http://pinkpetalbooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=6&products_id=84

http://tessmackall.com

http://myspace.com/tessmackall

http://twitter.com/tessmackall

Or Dating in the New Millenium

Yep-I’m back to my irreverent self it seems. The pity party got old, the tsk tsk from former friends got irritating and the heavy handed ex got….well…too heavy handed so I bailed. Yep. Jumped ship and did not leave a forwarding address-literally. I’m snug as a horny bug in my little one room apartment with my new queen size bed that has been thoroughly broken in…ahem….. I’ve dipped my toe into the dating pool on the internet and what a difference 20 years makes. I shouldn’t be surprised I suppose. Ipod is on it’s what… seventh generation in ten years of existence so why wouldn’t the dating game have gone thru a few changes as well. And my goodness what wonderful changes. Not only do the posters offer to show you what they have but how they intend to use it-no worries about false advertising. They also have little boxes that you check off in their profile that asks what you are looking for in another person. To my surprise and JOY the one site has a box that says “Fuck Buddy only- no emotional attachment wanted at this time”. My eyes misted over, the clouds parted, the angels sang. I plopped my fat ass down and filled in that profile-heaven was only a few keystrokes away. Accidentally gave myself five inches and aged myself 6 months in my haste to get my profile on line, but what the heck. What’s a few extra inches between two consenting adults.

And, as I was waiting for everything to be approved to be put up on the bulletin board as one of the new fish I had a few random thoughts float thru my lust filled brain. Should I go buy a pair of those false advertising 501 button fly jeans? A little window dressing couldn’t hurt. And maybe I should go get one of those waxes Blake told me about at the convention. Nothing turns a top on more than a smooth bottomed bottom…..uhm….not too sure about that one…might have to revisit it later. We do happen to have an A&F so maybe if I just ran down and took a few notes on what the brainless hotties behind the counter were wearing I might at least look the part of a lonely hottie in need of a pair of strong arms and broad shoulders. Stop shaking your head….I can pout with the best of ‘em! I can look hopelessly lost amongst all the brightly colored boxers. I can shake my head and sigh morosely when confronted with one of those new fangled hangers that won’t hold onto the pants. I can drop something forty times in fifteen minutes so I have to bend over so everyone can get a good look at my ass…..Then again they might mistake me for an A&F sales boy.

Stay tuned for Part Two of Dating in the New Millenium where I’ll go into detail about my first nooner experience.

TTFN

Aeryn

I know you all wanna get humpy with one another! And I think I missed posting hotties last week. I’m in a rush but here’s a little something to get your engine revved this Humpday.

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It’s pretty hot today. One of the photos I’m posting is from the cover of my July release Fire Season. Take a look at what we have here for your drooling pleasure on this Humpday…

Model Anderson Dornelles

Model Katie Green

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A coworker was teasing me earlier this evening about this being my default answer to anything lately.  This being notable because I, while not being a technical member of management due to my university-dictated availability, am treated as management by the other managers.  So for me to be answering every query with a shrug and an “I don’t know” is highly unusual.  In this case, it’s not because I don’t care – it’s just, my brain is dead.  I genuinely don’t know the answer to a lot of this stuff! 

Why is my brain dead, you may ask? Well, I did just reach the end of a semester, during which time I juggled four writing-intensive courses, two full-fledged research projects for psychology, and a part time job, plus over 82,500 words of fiction.  (Two short stories, half a novella, and a novel.)  And people wonder why I don’t have time to have a girlfriend.

The semester just ended – in fact, Monday was my last exam, plus the due date on the 16+ page APA-style paper for one of the research projects – and I just wrapped up and submitted the novel today.  The others were already bought and will be out in June.

So yeah, my brain is total mush and dribbling out my ears lately.  This, however, does not stop me from attempting to bring you the dirty dregs of my mind that are still hanging around inside the abandoned cavity in my cranium.

So that novel I just finished… I’ll be sure to chat about it more when I have a release date, etc., but the point is, there’s this contrast.  There are two couples in the book–one in 1957, the other in 2007; two stories for the price of one!–and they both gave me fits.  My 1957 couple couldn’t stay out of bed.  The only way I got through one of their chapters without them ending up taking a tumble together was to separate them for the entire chapter.  If they were in arm’s reach, they were going to find a way to have sex.  My other couple?  I couldn’t pay them to have sex until the last couple of chapters.  *facepalms*

And okay, I just spent the last forty minutes getting distracted while trying to find the picture of the model-slash-artist who was the physical inspiration for one half of the modern-day couple in that novel… So for those of you who get around to reading it ever, this particular shot of Jordan Carlyle was the direct basis for my sweet, oblivious little RN, Liam Brooks.

I wonder if I should actually be giving away secrets like that… haha.  Anyway, yes.  He of the pretty brown eyes and sensitive mouth.

Oh, speaking of pretty!  Funny story from work tonight.  (In case you ever wanted to know, yes, all Starbucks baristas are incurable perverts.  At least those of us who work at my store.)  One of my coworkers – and very good friends – is dating a girl who is, let’s say, significantly on the younger side.  She’s legal.  Barely.  So she has a lot of high school friends.  Now, mind, my running joke is that I didn’t figure out I was gay until I was in college because I can’t stand high school girls.

So the gf’s friends were in the store, and one of them walked right up to my friend and said, “Hey, pretty boy.”

I may have snorted my coffee.  My other friend, an extremely handsome young man with the sort of musculature that makes me want to strip him down and take pictures — I’m lesbian, not blind — starting giggling.  And spent the rest of the evening tacking on “pretty boy” to every sentence just for the fact that it made our friend sort of violent.  The part where I couldn’t stop giggling was when there were dishes being brought back to the sink to be washed…

“Looking for some place to put that? Give it to me, pretty bo…”

And they both went sort of pale, looked at each other, and started making noises of protest while I did my damnedest to catch my breath from laughing so hard.

Ah, boys.  Endless sources of amusement.

In honor of, have a poem I wrote long time ago.  I may not want boysex for myself most of the time, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading or writing it.

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It’s another addition of Flirty Author Bitches Humpday Extravaganza! Hope you enjoy the offerings!

Click here for the NSFW photos!

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Oh, my yes. It is waaaaay hot in here and not quite safe for work either! Welcome to another addition of Humpday Hotties. Get out your fans cause this one will rock your socks off! BTW, usually, if you click em, you’ll get a bigger version just perfect for ogling!

Have a great Hump Day!

Yes, I’ve effed up the calendar. Where the fuck does the damned time go anyway? It keeps getting away from me like a greased pig at the county fair. Not a pretty visual is it? I’ll work on the calendar tonight for all you FAB authors and readers.

Now, since I effed up and should have posted yesterday, I will give you a taste of something I posted at Z.A. Maxfield’s group this week. Also, just for being good flirty bitches, since it’s a Humpday, I’ll give you Hotties at the end of this post. Never let it be said that I can’t apologize properly with half naked hunks.

Over at ZAM’s, Jules told us about flirting with a co-worker that she wasn’t interested in sexually. The way she described him, I think most of the group was interested in him sexually though. HEH. I know he at least fired up my imagination. He did something flirty to her one day and she told us about it. We all thought it was really hot… and flirty. I said I should use it in a book. Someone (prolly Maurya) said they wanted to see that! So I showed em.

What I did was create a scene with the three main characters from a book that is only plotted and has no title. In fact, this is the first scene I’ve written for it. The book is one of the Twisted Tales and it’s a twist on Rapunzel starring a twisted version of my friend Becky from Midnight Cliff. If you don’t know Becky you should visit her blog because you are in for a treat. She goes by hellohahanarf across the blogosphere and she’s very flirty and fun. She does Half-Naked Thursday and shows off her boobs including nipples. She has great boobs too.

Anyway, here’s the flirty scene I wrote:

It’s Wednesday! Happy Hump Day!

Today’s theme is the ocean. I live fairly close to it, but I rarely go there. I think I just like the idea that it’s nearby. Enjoy these ocean scenes!

That’s Brazilian model Rafael Verga and actress Jessica Alba, in case you didn’t know. The men kissing was just cause it’s a hot ocean photo. LOL Enjoy!

Yes, it’s the first installment of Humpday Hotness! Everyone needs hotties to drool over or use as muses or characters. My idea of the ultimate hotness is Marcus Schenkenberg, the first male supermodel. I post him on my blog Sunlight Sucks every Monday, to help make Mondays be not such a pain in the ass. I’m also a big fan of the hotness that is Kelly Monaco. The woman has tits that just do not quit. I don’t really play for the other team, but she could recruit me in a heartbeat with those boobs and that ass. Besides, her mouth looks like she could suck the chrome off a tailpipe. Old, bad joke, I know.

So what do I have for you to ogle this Wednesday? How about a few photos that I think are just as warm as a fire in the winter! Enjoy!

Nir Lavi, Israeli model

Christina Scabbia, lead singer of Lacuna Coil

And a Marcus and Kelly just for good measure!

Happy Humpday!