We’ve all been in love. Laughed with silly jokes, shared silly phrases, called each other silly nicknames. Played in the sun, in the dark, while the rest of the world slept or worked or did other very responsible things.

And we’ve all been to the gloomy place where all that loses its lustre. Where silly just becomes stupid, where watching a movie or reading a book sounds better than spending time with our significant (?) other. Where what was once the reason we got up in the morning is now another thing to check on our to-do list.

Surprisingly, that’s the good way to end a relationship. Yes, I know ending and good should create an oxymoron, but it’s true. When you want something to be over, you heal easier, you move on faster, you place the good memories in the treasure-chest of your heart and delete the bad with a small sigh.

But what happens when that magical bond between two people is broken abruptly?

When it’s not the logical result of a succession of events? When someone cheats, lies or just plain lets us down in a way that’s unforgivable? Big words fly high and low in the heat of the moment, even more so when someone is impulsive. “It’s over” is a prevalent phrase we throw around, but how true is it really? Maybe it’s just something we say to hurt the other person the way they hurt us.

Bitterness flows when love ebbs and the hurt takes over. Walking away sometimes is the only thing to do. Or maybe it’s the easiest. Whether it’s heartache or pride that forces us to run, we do. More often than not in this day and age. But what we always seem to forget is that we can run but we can’t hide. From our feelings, from the truth. They follow us around like an annoying shadow, forcing us to go back and pick up the pieces of our broken relationship. Be adults and own up to our mistakes.

You can’t have a fight with only one person.

Greek saying that fits the bill in most cases.

So what happens when the bill’s too much for us to pay, and we realize that we spoke too fast? It’s not always possible to take such a small but powerful word back. Sometimes the hurt we’ve caused by walking away excedes the pain we felt in the first place, and we’re left in limbo. Nowhere to go back to, nowhere to move on to. The chain of reactions has wrapped around our neck and strangles us.

That’s the bittersweet beauty of life though. Pain is also needed so we can learn, adjust, evolve, and hopefully do it right in the future.

So are you a man/woman of your four-letter word? Do you mean it when you tell someone it’s over or do you later regret it?

When love is new and fresh it’s called “puppy love”. It’s called so because of the devotion a puppy oftentimes gives its owner, and we see that in the boy with a crush following a girl, or vice versa, that happens in our younger years. Sure, wikipedia says it’s also called “kitten love”, but here at the Winter household, we have true kitten love. We have the cute and cuddly kind like you see in the picture. And we have the other kind too, which more often than not resembles an old married couple. Baxter (He’s the spotted guy in the picture), will stand on Delta and do his “thing” (even though they’re both fixed), while she’s sleeping in the kitty bed. She’ll give him a look that says “not right now, I’m trying to sleep” and put her head back down while he’s stomping away on top of her. Eventually he’ll figure out she’s more interested in snoozing and flop over right on top of her.

Yep, sounds like an old married couple.

The truth is the love and devotion these two show each other would be the envy of any couple from a romance book. I’ll see them curled up together in the recliner. Or sometimes, one will come to snuggle with the other, providing lots of ear and face licks in the process.

So I vote we rename it “kitten love”, because really, who needs puppies when you have these two around?

And you know what’s better than kittens? The guy who let you adopt them.

Ok first off I am going to apologize…my blog is a couple of days late and I am a few dollars short.  But then my usual day fell on a Monday and Monday is of course our jump day here at work.

Work, shall we go into that subject.  My roommate is a jerk from hell.  The lowest rung of hell at that.  He seems to think that everything should revolve around him.  As in suck my cock, each my shit…whatever I want goes.  Yes my roommate is a guy…no I am not fucking him.  Wouldn’t if he was the last dick on earth and having sex with him meant that the world would be saved and all that.  He is just rude and to make matters worse thinks he is God’s gift to women.  I have curtains in my bunkhouse room.   In this picture the curtain is up in the air…but for some reason he has a problem with it being closed at night.  He always comes in and opens the corner of the curtain “so that he can have the air conditioner” yet he then closes his curtain which goes all the way to the ground?  HUH  this makes no sence to me, but then I am not a guy so.  He also seems to think it is alright for him to move my fan so that it is pushing the air towards his room instead of towards mine.  The result is that my room ends up hotter than hell while he gets a small amount of air.

Now as for him thinking he is God’s gift to women.  He had tried on several occasions to have sex with me.  I am so not going there.  One is is not my type.  Two he is nasty.  Three I know for a fact he tested positive for an STD not that long ago.  I know this cause he got arrested and my boss found out about it and told me about it.  Hell when I said something to someone else about him having tested positive for one, he yelled at me for talking about him but did NOT deny that he had to get treated for one.  He is one of them guys that has at least 2 woman a week he is having sex with.  The final straw for me today was something that is actually pretty stupid but it was just the be all to end all.  He took the garbage bag out of my room (sounds nice right) filled it with his garbage and left it open just outside the door.  Where if I had not bitched about it, it would have sat for most of the rest of this week.  Until someone else took it out to the big can to get collected.

Then there is DC…he is one of the drivers for the show.  He is another one that gets pissy cause I have turned him down.  He is a pot head.  Now I have smoked a little in my time, but I have never done it and then gotten behind the wheel of anything.  He will get stoned then drive a rig, or even worse he smokes it while driving.  He has been pissy lately cause I won’t do what he tells me to do.  In our weekly “church” meeting…we have a work meeting everyweek that the boss calls “church”…a couple of weeks ago, he tells everyone at the meeting that he will take the show bus to do laundry in the morning and that I am going to drive it that night to take them all to Walmart.  I informed him in no uncertain terms that he had no right to volunteer me for anything.  When he tried to say that Timmy(the boss) does it all the time, I let him know that he was not my boss and he couldnt volunteer me to do anything.  Ever since that night, see I embarrased his ass in front of the whole show, he has been really bitchy with me.  Today in fact, he got pissed cause I parked my truck where he did not want it.  When I called my boss Mary and asked her if there was some place that I could or could not park the pickup and told her where I was and that DC was telling me I couldnt park there, she said fuck him tell him I told you to park there.

It is all not that bad…Really it isnt.  I had 5 interesting weeks with my teenage daughter out here.  Unfortunately, she has decided that she in in love with a guy I was sort of involved with.  I do not mind them dating, he was nothing to me but a friend with benefits.  What bothers me is that everyone else has a problem with it and I am getting all kinds of flack about letting them even hang out together.  Everyone else is convinced that he is taking advantage of her.  Yet I have talked to both of them…they really do like each other.  He is a nice kid…he maybe 26 but he is in so many ways still just a kid himself.  He does his best to take care of her AND he REFUSES to do anything physically with her until she is at least 18…which mind you is in March.  In fact to listen to her, she tried to get him to but he said NO.  They talk on the phone every day now.  He is suppose to be paying her phone bill so that they can continue to talk daily until she is either 18 or no longer living with her father.

I do not have a problem with the age thing, cause I have dated older guys…guys that were a whole lot more than 9 years older than I was.  I have also dated much younger guys.  In fact, at one point I was like 32 and dating a guy that was 17…with his mother and legal guardian’s permission.  So I am a firm believer that I have no ground to stand on to bitch about their age differences.  And I have watched them when they did not know I was looking…the look on both faces is someone that is in LOVE.  Yes she is young…yes she may very well change her mind about him…but I also remember being 17 & 18 and my parents telling me NO…I was bound and determined to prove them wrong.  I was old enough to make my own decisions and I was going to.  I would much rather let them date and have a modeum of control over something than to forbid it like her father wants to do, and have her run off as soon as she turns 18 and have no way of knowing if she is safe or if she is still in school.

She is just a sophmore in high school this year.  She had to stay back in kindergarten and in 5th grade so she is 2 years behind where she should be.  But I want her to GRADUATE high school.  My boyfriend/fiance had to drop out of school in order to support his child when he was like 16 or 17.  He has fought for the last 13 years to finish high school.  He just this year finally got his GED.  I am so proud of him for doing this…but even he says it is so much easier if she just stays in school and does it that way.  I agree.

I have just about 2 weeks left until it is time to leave for home.  I am counting the days…almost counting the hours and minutes until I am able to pack up my stuff and head for Savannah and be with my boyfriend again!!!  The days cannot pass fast enough.

Okay, maybe not beer, but I find it completely amusing how my horse has gone from a “pasture pet” to a stalled little princess in the space of a few months. I’ve had my mare, Fortune, since she was three months old. She’ll be ten in August, so yeah, we’ve been together a while. And since generally she’s treated like my 1000-lb Barbie^TM (add to that the fact that I don’t ride), well she’s had a pretty cushy life. Hang out in the pasture with her buddies, get fed, grained, and can’t forget the horse cookies, then every once in a while be brought inside where she’s fussed over, brushed, made pretty, and then we walk around for 20 minutes or so. Read the rest of this entry »

Because, as the Kentucky Derby showed on Saturday, sometimes the little guys can score one against big guys with deeper pockets. And the cool thing is, when that happens, it’s probably an even bigger win, because it revitalizes interest in the sport (or in the publishing industry).

For those who don’t follow horse racing (and shame on you), a $9500 gelding (from Canada) named Mine that Bird came from way behind to stun the field. I suspect, in reality, that there were probably traffic jams, which created the perfect opportunity. But that’s okay. Because things like that happen in both industries. And it’s a good thing when it does.

Why? Because it inspires hope. Read the rest of this entry »

Before I get too far into the business of the blog, I thought I’d take a moment for a little BSP.  As a special thank you to my readers, I’m announcing:

The Dreaming of You – Preservation This, Bitch! Giveaway. 

It’s your chance to win one of Three Free copies of my second book upon its release in May.  You can find out all the details at my website or my new Yahoo Group. 
You’ll find both links below.                                            

 Jealousy…why do you have to bother me?

Now I’ll be the first to admit I’m far from perfect, but I have never suffered from nor understood this particularly annoying emotion.  Perhaps there’s someone out there who can make me understand, but I suggest you come fully prepared to go to the mat along with a sales pitch unlike any other.

I’ve fallen for an unavailable man or two over the years and been envious of the person they were with, but I’ve never gone Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs over it.  I don’t burst a blood vessel if I catch the guy I’m with checking out another man…he might catch me at some point and then what?  Those damn glass houses!

Before we continue I do feel I should also state that the first part of the following story all took place back in my early twenties.  I’m much nicer than I used to be.  Back in those days, the old me might have done something evil such as drink too much vodka, hop up onto the roof of someone’s car while pointing at random guys and declaring, “I’d fuck you and you…”  True – that in itself was really only embarrassing to me, but I unfortunately decided to also point at other guys while declaring, “I would soooo NOT fuck you or you…”  Yeah…I was a real sweet heart in those days.

My first real experience with the green eyed monster didn’t actually involve me personally, so to speak.  I know already that I’m going to get some unkind comments over this, but what the hell.  All I have to say is, unless YOUR  roommate comes home from a weekend trip to a hair show in Nashville with a complete stranger in tow, declaring they’ve fallen in love while moving this perfect stranger into your home…you aren’t allowed to bitch at me.  Now that I’ve hopefully built up a little sympathy for myself…stranger guy also happened to have Tourette’s.

I was a little surprised by how much I instantly disliked this man.  To be fair, my BFF’s twitchy boy toy was not very friendly either.  I’m sure he’d been made fun all his life and perhaps that made him a little anger ball, because he was certainly never going to win Miss Congeniality.  I know it’s not PC and I realize he couldn’t help himself, but it’s very frustrating when you’re lounging on the couch trying to enjoy your favorite TV show while some dude you never intended on living with is sitting on the floor bumping the back of his head into the sofa and muttering, shit…shit…shit…periodically.  Pretty soon, you too might feel your own sanity slip as your normally Walt Disney-like personality slowly begins to get all Tim Burtony, while you imagine yourself picking up the table lamp sitting next to you and smashing him over the head with it.  Granted…I now know it was actually my roomie who deserved to be bludgeoned, but hindsight and all…you know. 

Their relationship was tumultuous at best, and wound up only lasting a few months.  I was witness to things in that short amount of time, well…ever seen War of the Roses?  I’d never seen behavior like that, coming from my don’t-ask-don’t-tell family background.  The accusations of indiscretions, declarations of love, and instantaneous assumptions of guilt were enough to make me swear, *channeling Scarlett O’Hara clutching a handful of dirt*  “As God as my witness, I shall never date crazy as long as I live.”

Something I also hadn’t learned at the tender and impressionable young age of twenty one…never say never.  It wasn’t long after their break-up that my BFF and I became Frenemies – apparently my lack of support during their relationship was unforgivable.

 
I used to think jealous people were just drama junkies, until I found myself dating one.  In my defense, he wasn’t like the jealous people I’d known in the past.  He totally flew under the ‘crazy’ radar.  In his defense, he told me he was prone to jealousy when we started dating.  He was quiet and sweet…downright loving.  Not only was he interested in me, but he was very curious about my writing as well.  I thought I’d won the man-lotto, cause on top of his seemingly mature and manly demeanor, the sex was also fantastic.  I scoffed at his declarations of being a jealous man.  He was way to level-headed for such non-sense…plus I knew I’d never give him reason to be.

For several months I was walking around in a haze…seconds away from a sugary-sweet diabetic love-coma.  Then, it stopped.  He vanished!  I left a few messages and then stopped myself.  After all, (insert sassy head bobbing here) I was certainly not going to beg.  He finally did call, though.  When we met up to discuss, to his credit, he was completely honest.  I’d given him a rough draft of a book I’d been writing, the soon to be released, Dreaming of You.  He informed me that he’d stopped calling because the imaginary ‘dream man’ character in my fictional novel was nothing like him.  I kid you not, folks…not even I could make this shit up.  The man was jealous of my imagination!

While I did appreciate his honesty…I was also carefully sliding the silverware sitting on the table we were occupying away from him.  In the end, I of course had to jump off the express train to Crackertown, but I still to this day have never understood jealousy.  If there’s anyone out there who can suss this one out for me, I’m all ears.

For more info on the Giveaway go to:                                                                                                http://www.ethandayonline.com/
or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EthanDay/

Much Love

Chocolate…..
Okay so 98% of us LOVE chocolate. Why? Well, idiot, because it tastes good, duh. But what about the psychological effect chocolate can have on us. When we are feeling blue, we gorge ourselves on the stuff. Is it the sugar, the caffeine, the texture, the taste that elevates our mood? Or maybe just the feeling of indulgence that makes us feel better.
Whether you like dark, milk or white chocolate, (and yes Maurya, white chocolate is too chocolate, I don’t care what you say, lol) each of us has a passion for this food group. (Yes it is a food group.)
Now let’s talk about the other side effect of chocolate. No, not the way it tends to misshapen your hips, the way it really makes you feel. Come on, can you think of anything better than covering your lover in a jar of chocolate sauce. Licking that sweet, smooth confection from their warm body? Tasting the contrast between the pleasing sweetness of the chocolate and the tangy saltiness of their skin.
And, ohhhh the combination of chocolate and caramel, it’s truly sinful. Please, please don’t forget to start the adventure with an appetizer of chocolate covered strawberries dipped into a dollop of whipped dream. Feed your lover the luscious fruit, use your tongue to sip the excess juices dripping from their mouth. Use the fruit as a paint brush for the whipped cream and chocolate. Have some erotic fun.
Celebrate the joy that chocolate can bring!