I’ve heard lots of authors complaining about someone raining on their parade. You post a blog with news about your life or a new contract–even a work in progress. And you’re hoping for positive feedback from readers and fellow authors alike. The feedback IS almost always positive, but have you ever noticed that there is always an author here and there who will—come hell or high water—blatantly promote on YOUR blog with their comment?

These authors are in constant promo-mode and defy the unspoken rule of blog etiquette. Now most of what is said in comments is congratulatory or uplifting in nature, but these promo queens turn the blog topic around, whatever it is, and make it all about them somehow. Yeah, they try their best to upstage the poster.

The cardinal rule of blogging and commenting is this: THOU SHALT NOT PROMO THYSELF ON ANOTHER AUTHOR’S BLOG UNLESS REQUESTED TO DO SO.Yeah, wait until the blogger invites you to guest blog, why don’t you?

Not too long ago, a very upset author emailed me about this. She could not fathom the idea of someone commenting to HER blog all about THEIR big news and upstaging her announcement. Neither can I. Other times these promo queens–and kings, cause I’ve seen the guys do it too–will actually go so far as to mention the titles of their books and even leave buy links. But even if they don’t do that, they are pretty crafty in nature–or at least think they are–and find other ways to promote themselves. They have a way of taking the spotlight off of the poster and shining it on them.

What they don’t understand is that what they deem to be genius promo tactics isn’t winning them any brownie points with the blogger OR other commenters. Trust me, everyone notices it, rolls their eyes, and thinks: “there she/he goes again.” Yeah, again. Cause these type of commenters do garner a reputation for what they are doing after a while. People see it happen over and over again and wince every time they see that author’s name. So if you are one of those little rain clouds on your fellow author’s blog, take a step back and think before you post all about yourself and your own work. It’s not as well-received or welcome as you think it is.

I have some pretty big news of my own coming up soon. Well, I may not announce for several weeks yet. Got way too much on my plate and things are still getting sorted out. But when I do announce, and one of these rain clouds comes along, I’m going to simply smile, delete their comment, and move on. Hey! They asked for it.

On another note, Faith Bicknell-Brown, author and editor, owner of the Avoid Writers’ Hell Workshop, posted here at FAB yesterday about some upcoming news. She’s decided to close the AWH workshop in favor of posting lessons from the AWH blog. I think it’s a good idea as the lessons will be archived and much easier to access. Members and non-members alike will be able to ask questions or have discussion in general on the blog in the comment section. Faith will leave the sister group–AWH Chatters open for Monday promos, general chatter, and lesson announcements. So if you haven’t joined Chatters yet, now is your time to do so. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/avoidwritershellchatters

I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I was growing up, no one ever had ‘the talk’ with me. My mother was against discussing anything sexual at all. My father? Well, he liked to joke and would have been a more open parent had he not been married to my mother. But that’s another story for another day.

The reason I’m blogging about sex ed today is because my little boy was talking about it a few days ago, and I thought it would be a good topic to get some opinions on. I guess I’m pro sex education, however, I don’t feel like they are going about it the right way. According to my kid, it appears to be more about reproductive parts and how the body works rather than the things that a kid needs to actually learn.

They don’t teach them about putting slot A into slot B, for instance. Now some of you might think that isn’t something they need to know—that if you tell them, they’ll go out and practice. I think that you’ve already got kids out there having sex and that those who do were going to anyway and those who don’t, well, knowing the details isn’t going to matter to them.

So why do we have some kids having sex at an early age when others refrain? I’ve heard a range of answers on that one for sure. Every excuse from seeing it on TV to peer pressure. Now I don’t doubt that kids watch too much TV, see things maybe they shouldn’t too soon, but I can’t blame their sexual activity on being exposed to too much too soon. Nor can I blame it on peer pressure completely. If we raise our children to be strong in mind, no amount of ‘overexposure’ to TV, video games, and movies could possibly sway them. And most certainly not little Sally Jane Doe from up the street.

I honestly believe that children, and when I say children I mean those eleven to fifteen years old, are inclined to seek out another person to share something with if their lives are somehow lacking. That it’s all about getting the attention they need. Maybe it’s about being touched in general. An awful lot of kids don’t get as many hugs as they should. I remember hearing a ten-year-old child say to me once that she wanted a baby. I knew her parents and knew that the child received no attention. That the child was actually hungry—and in more ways than one. Hungry for not only food, but love. That child was pregnant at age twelve. I saw that girl not too long ago, now all grown up and with three children. She’s probably twenty-five or so. She works as a caregiver to the elderly and is married, her husband employed in construction. I looked at her children and was immediately impressed with how they were dressed. She’d taken such care with them. Their hair was nice and shiny, clean clothes and shoes, and all were smiling and you could just tell they loved their Mama. It was nice to know that she’d broken what could have been a vicious cycle. That’s not to say I recommend anyone getting pregnant at age twelve. Hell no. But to explain that this child had nothing and so wanted something. She seemed happy now, and I can’t imagine what she had to go through to get to the place she is today.

Children crave love and affection. They need to know that parents are there to talk to and support them no matter what. The answer to preventing children from having babies isn’t in a sex ed class that never really does anything other than teach them about reproduction and whisper don’t do it because it ruins your life. The answer lies with good parenting. Open communication with children. Setting a good example.

And hugging.

I remember a girl in high school who evidently was learning disabled. Her mother gave birth to her late in life (well fortyish isn’t too late, but not the norm maybe) so she was fifteen and her parents were in their sixties. This girl thought she could get pregnant if a boy stuck his tongue in her ear. That’s one of the things her parents had told her. I’m all for protecting children, but that kind of lie doesn’t protect them, does it? The girl was pregnant by the end of her junior year.

At least sex ed is getting rid of the lies. I’ll say that much for the system. But it needs to go further. Instead of the gym teacher (that’s who teaches sex ed in our school system) getting up in front of the P.E. class for three weeks out of the school year and talking about sperm swimming and eggs traveling through tubes, it would seem that someone more qualified needs to be doing this. Someone who can speak to these children about their fears, their needs, and the consequences of their actions. These things are only touched on by that three week session. It might be different in other school systems, but where I live, the entire process is sorely lacking. I honestly believe that school systems should turn up the focus on the child/teen pregnancy problem a couple of notches and possibly even go so far as to have counselors in the schools that are trained to address this single issue. The systems could target schools where there seems to be a major problem.

In the meantime, I talk to my kid. I’m very open with him, and he’s very open with me. Sometimes his questions are a bit more than what I’d like to discuss with him. But it’s answering those hard questions despite the momentary embarrassment that makes us good parents, isn’t it? Staying involved in your child’s life is the single most important thing any of us will ever do.

And that involvement doesn’t end at age eighteen. Though I’ve had it said to me a hundred times in recent months that once they turn eighteen there is nothing else for me to do, I subscribe to the theory that with love comes responsibility. And my kids will always have me driving them crazy about this or that. I’ll always be their cheerleader, mentor, and staunchest critic. I’m not above ‘tough love’. But in the end, my actions are always fueled by my love.

Now this might sounds strange but it’s actually the name of the movie.

Over the weekend I got so bored that I started scratching through things and sorted stuff out that was lying around when I found this movie amongst a ton of my stuff. The name didn’t ring a bell to me so I decided to watch it and see what it was all about.

Synopsis
A reunion of family and friends becomes an unforgettable vacation when two teenage boys discover their secret feelings toward one another. The relationship is eventually exposed to their families – leading to denial and a questioning of self-worth from each of the boys. The exposed relationship brings to light that one of the boys was previously institutionalized for his homosexuality by his older brother.

Review
Beautiful gay teens, hunky straight guys, great scenery at the beach – not much to complain about with this issue oriented drama that faces up strongly and surprisingly erotically to the issue of gay teens. The handsome cast tells an ultimately uplifting tale with aplomb, considering the obviously minute budget. Teenage David and his younger brother travel to his Dad’s hometown with their recently separated father. Upon their arrival, Dad renews a friendship with his hunky old buddy, while his teenage brother, Seth, hits it off well with David. The two very cute boys become real close, real fast. They become so bonded that one night the teens get drunk, make a fire on the beach, look into each other’s eyes and lock lips. One thing the boys didn’t know is that David’s younger brother was spying on them and he’s not too happy with what he saw. The next day over lunch with the whole tribe the whole story comes out of the closet with the teens. In a truly affirmative spirit Dad embraces his son. A truly worthwhile drama – sort of a queer after-school special!
– Scott Cranin

This movie is an “oldie” in my book..hehehe…but it was something I thought I would share. It was truly remarkable for the year it was made actually. These days when you go and search online and you look at the different gay themed movies out there, the plot is atrocious, the characters not even slightly believable and most of the acting is extremely amateur. In the end the movies are a complete bust.

However, in this instance, I must say that I was captivated by the characters and the story. One or two parts of the movie was a bit corny but in overall it definitely was one of the best I’ve seen.

Now..that was my movie rundown. Hehehe. During the past month so much has happened. I finished writing two books and started on another two about a week ago. Just a couple of days ago I received my cover for my latest book, A Loving Hart which is the second book in the Heart of the Mountain Series.

I’m so proud of Reese for always doing such and awesome job with my covers! She’s just amazing.

An update on a completely different topic as well….

Silver Publishing will be a full-service publisher soon! So keep an eye out…you never know!

So I got my FIRST EVER money from my writing this weekend. As you might suspect, I was beyond thrilled when I saw the email waiting for me in my inbox. It’s not about the money. I write because I want/like to; money is just a welcome bonus. A figure that portrays that my art is worth something. Yeah, I know, it’s not the best way to evaluate a book, but it’s the reality we live in. And I’ve accepted I’m not Hemingway or James Joyce, so no Nobel Prizes for me.

Anyway, when I opened the email, I have to say I was a tad…disappointed. Which really surprised me. The Art of Losing is my first book, and I knew that as a new author I wouldn’t sell a lot of copies. I’m also aware that money is scarce these days, and seeing as it’s a long book, it costs $5,95. I would certainly think twice before spending this amount on an author I’ve never heard of before so I’m pretty sure others would too.

(For the record, I know that some sales numbers haven’t been counted yet. Still…I want to rant and I shall.)

For the past four months, I kept telling myself that even if I sell only 10 copies, I’d be happy. And I believed it. Or so I thought…So why was I disappointed? It’s not like the amount was pitiful. I could go to the supermarket and buy myself lots of goodies, aka booze and sweets. Or I could take out a few of my friends and buy them a drink.

And yes, I know that money is directly proportional to sales, but I honestly didn’t think about that. All the people that read the book and got back to me enjoyed reading it. I’ve had two reviews, one from Sensual Reads and one from Manic Readers and they were both good. I’ve been in my publisher’s top 10 on Fictionwise on and off for weeks. All of this leads me to believe my book was/is/will be well received by readers.

So I sat down and thought about it and realized that I just can’t put a price tag on my work. OK sure if my earnings were $700 I’d be jumping up and down like the Energizer bunny but the point is that I’ve worked really hard on this book. I’ve stressed for months, trying to figure out the plot (coz alas I’m a pantser), seeing with dread as the deadline approached, then going over it three times during edits. Many pieces of my soul is in this book, and even though at some point I really just never wanted to see it again, I love it.

I’m not saying my books should cost $50, God no. I’m simply saying I can’t think of something that would do it justice. I would probably find something to fret and whine about in any scenario, even the $700 one. And with that came the realization that I have to give JLo her dues (all artists really but JLo came to mind coz I always use her as an example in my head. Live with it.)

For years, I’ve been downloading free music because

CD’s are way too expensive to buy

and since JLo already has a gazillion money and more houses than she needs, why should I keep increasing her bank account? And now I’m in the unfortunate position to admit that my way of thinking is wrong and I should pay. Dammit!

Which means that in my free time I have to come up with a new justification to download free music.

P.S. Oh yeah: for the record, I did sell more than 10 copies.

We as authors don’t always get the time to say thank you to our cover artists for the work they do for us because just like them, we have a lot on our plate and when we do get around to it…we’ve had 3 or more covers already. LOL. So yeah…I thought about doing something different this time around and introduce my cover artists to you! This isn’t a very ordinary “interview” it’s more of a daily occurrence.

Contrary to popular belief, I hate talking about myself.  So rather than blog about ‘me’ and how wonderful I am, I thought I would interview someone who hates talking about herself more than I do, Reese Dante.

So, here’s the chat transcript between us.

Leiland:   So, what are you doing?

Reese:   Nothing, fanning my ass.  What do you think I’m doing?

Leiland:    Fanning your ass.  LMAO

Reese:   I’m working, smartass.  What’s up?  And don’t tell me you need something else done, like ‘right now!’  LOL

Leiland:     Well…

Reese:   Seriously?

Leiland:   I need to write something for a blog.  I hate writing about myself.

Reese:  Better you than me!  LOL  Just tell them how wonderful you are.

Leiland:   Stop blowing smoke up my ass.  I was thinking of blogging an interview with you.

Reese:  I plead the 5^th.

Leiland:   Just answer a few questions.  Tell me about yourself?

Reese:  I’m a no-nonsense type of girl who loves to draw, loves computers.  I speak my mind – sometimes too much – and I can be very sarcastic.  I’m stubborn but not inflexible.   I’m super anal about details and I hate doing things twice, and I’m known to have a trucker’s mouth when I’m super comfortable.  Wanna piss me off – ask me the same question 10 times or tell me to ‘relax’.  There.  Done.

Leiland:    Perfect.  LOL

Reese:  You’re kidding right?  You’re going to edit that aren’t you?

Leiland:   Nope. 

Reese:  Raw?

Leiland:   

Reese:  Shit.  Fine.  Leiland likes to [edited]

Leiland:   LMAO

Reese: I bet you’re going to edit that.

Leiland:    

Reese:  *ugh*  Ok – fine.  Ask away.  And I’ll try to be on my best behavior.

Leiland:   What’s your background?

Reese:  *sigh*  My ‘official’ background is in business and marketing.  Did the whole thing up to my MBA and joined the corporate world.  The jump from that to doing covers…well, I’m currently working full time – it pays the bills but I wasn’t excited – not even content, to be honest.  So, I finally listened to my husband and friends who have been telling me for years to do something with my creativity.  I still do the corporate thing, but spend my nights working on creative projects.  I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

Leiland:   When did you discover your creative side?

Reese:  I’ve always loved art.  When I was little, I don’t think I ever drew stick people.  I was quiet and very naïve…when I was a kid  My teachers found out soon enough I chose art as my outlet. I seemed to be the one always chosen to be the creative teacher’s pet in school.  I did my first portrait in junior high.  I saw a friend of mine trying to trace a celebrity pic from a magazine and I thought I could do better.  I traced it – and it looked like the picture.  So then I tried to draw it freehand and I was surprised it actually looked like the person.  For several years after that, I explored it further – shadows, eye details, the way hair flows, etc.  I love to pencil sketch but I’ve also done computer illustrations, oil paintings, airbrush and acrylics.  No watercolor.  I’m too anal and don’t have much control there and it drives me nuts.

Leiland:   Do you have a favorite artist?

Reese:  Aside from the standard/traditional artists we all know, I have several favs for different reasons.  In this particular room, for example, I’ve got Patrick Nagel and MC Escher.  That should give you an idea of my broad interest

Leiland:   Where do you come up with the idea for your covers?

Reese:  I’ve had a few clients who have come to me with an idea in mind.  Sometimes, I just go with that if they’re set in their ways.  Other clients will tell me their idea and we’ll brainstorm.  Some give me total creative freedom.  They give me their book which I’ll read and come up with my own concept.  That comes with a certain level of trust (on several levels) so I’m especially meticulous with those projects.  When I read a story, I visualize the character, settings, etc.  I then use that image to find the picture I will use on the cover.  Without this, I need detail info on character traits, time periods, etc.

Leiland:   Most of your cover images are dressed?  What’s up with that!  LOL

Reese:  OMG.  Seriously?  Using the overused headless naked torso is scary.  But sex sells.  That’s why it works.   I guess if I had no idea of the physical traits of the characters, I wouldn’t have a choice, but I try to actually design a cover which personalizes the story in a picture.  I find the picture of a model whose face matches the image of the character.  Then, I change the eye, hair color/length, and clothing, if needed, to match.  If I didn’t know the character traits, I’d have to hide the face.  There’s nothing worse, IMO, than showing a long haired blonde on the cover if the protagonist is a brunette with short hair.

Leiland:   What do you find most frustrating when doing a cover?

Reese:  If I’ve got something in mind and can’t find a picture I can work with to get that design completed.  That’s very frustrating for me.  For the Bluebird cover, for example, I had a completely different idea in mind and couldn’t find the right picture.  And, unfortunately, I don’t have models who will pose for me.  For the Prophecy cover, I was a total blank canvas.  I was most concerned about finding the ‘face’ for each character because their personalities were so strong in the story -  so it was more of an ‘expression’ I was looking for rather than a pretty pic.  Once I found the look I wanted, I made the changes to the pics to match the characters, and the design just emerged after that.

Leiland:   What’s the most exciting part about being a cover artist?

Reese:  When I hit the mark and the author’s happy with the final product.   The second best thing is getting an email from an author – especially if I’m a fan. I get a little star struck sometimes.  That’s very cool.

Leiland:   Is there a cover you haven’t done yet that you’d like to do?

Reese:   I love a challenge so I’m open to any theme – but I do prefer fiction.  Prophecy was my first paranormal/shifter cover.  I wanted to stay away from the traditional shifter cover elements but still wanted to capture the supernatural mood.  I’m happy with the way it turned out. It’s one of my favs.

Leiland:   Ok – I think I’ve tortured you enough.

Reese:   I’m a glutton for punishment, what can I say.  Thank you – drive thru.

Thank you Reese for being such an amazing artist and such a wonderful friend! Feel free to visit her website at http://www.reesedante.com

Ya know, it’s a really good thing this blog is set to send out reminders to us authors, because the way things have been going around here lately, I never would have remembered that it was my day unless I’d gotten that little email nudge.

Of course, then it took me about a dozen tries to remember my log-in info here. Yeah, it’s been one of those months.

It’s kind of understandable, though. I mean, my wedding is only a week and a half away, and most of the brain power I’ve been able to salvage from my writing has gone into planning that and trying to figure out who’s doing what part of what needs to be done. Yes, I’ve learned to delegate, but then I have to remember to whom I’ve delegated, and those people have developed the annoying habit of asking me what I want to do about the things that I’ve asked them to take care of. In other words, delegating in some cases has just led to putting off being responsible for things, instead of making someone else entirely responsible.

Yes, I’m bitching. If you have a problem with that, check the name of the blog. LOL.

But at this point, I think the only things left to do for the wedding are ordering the cake, which technically my fiance’s mother is supposed to take care of but I think she’s making me go with her, and picking up the tuxes and my dress. Oh, and shopping for me and my daughters. We need shoes, and my 14-year-old and I have to hit Vicky’s for just the right bras to wear under our gowns. (My daughters are my attendants for the wedding.)

Meanwhile, there’s that minor thing called writing. You know, the stuff I’m supposed to do in order to be published, which is what makes me an author and entitles me to be here? I’ve actually done fairly well. Edits for my next romance novel, tentatively titled Eternal Love, are done, and the manuscript has gone off to the line editor. Release date for that one is July 1, the day after my birthday. Revisions on a new young adult novel (under my other author name) for a new publisher are done, as are revisions for the third book in my YA series (under my other author name), which I have to do another one-over on because I have to send it off to the series’ publisher this week.

I’ve been working on a new romance novel, though, and that thing’s been driving me batty. I don’t know whether I’m struggling with it because I have so much else on my mind or because it just isn’t a good plot for me. Either way, I’ve already deleted 30,000 words of it that had nothing to do with the story I was planning to tell, and now I’m wrangling with the characters to make them tell the story they’re supposed to. I don’t think they quite agree with me on what that is, unfortunately. So I’m picking away at it a bit at a time, and giving exaggerated sighs about the prospect of having the first draft written before the wedding, which was my original intent.

On top of those things, I’m dealing with health issues that sometimes leave me unable to sit at my computer for more than a few minutes without becoming completely exhausted. My doctor refuses to make a diagnosis just yet, but acknowledges that other than a sleep study to rule out apnea, he’s tested me for everything he can. So it’s probably Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, he just won’t say so yet. What it means for me is that some days, I wake up raring to go and able to concentrate, and other days it’s all I can do to stay awake and focus on reruns of Law and Order SVU. Kind of puts a dent in my writing… and my wedding planning… and pretty much everything else.

So yeah, I’ve been a wee tad bit busy lately. Next time I blog here, though, I’ll be married! With that out of the way, maybe things will calm down a bit around here.

If I can just get these darn characters to cooperate.

During the course of our life, we don’t necessarily think about it but we look for that one special someone. Many times when we do find someone it leaves holes in our hearts and part of our life empty when things don’t work out.

We don’t think like soldiers. Maybe we should and we might have something that would leave our hearts in tack. Go into the “war” with guns blazing and take out everything that stands in your way.  Of course, it doesn’t always work like that when you join the war and your partner doesn’t.

When you look at the battlefield, you’ll see that there are so many wounded and so few to pick up the pieces. If you’re one of the lucky ones that have found their better half, cherish it and give it your all. It might be the only chance you get.

For all the wonderful authors, let’s stop this war and continue to bring all the lonely hearts some loving through our work. We write for the enjoyment but think of all those people that wish the man in your book…was theirs. You’ve made a lonely heart become a loving heart just by bringing your characters to life.

I hope everyone is having an awesome day and may love find their way to you, if not in real life but through our books.

Hello FAB readers!

First, my name is Faith Bicknell-Brown. I’m a repped author, an editor, a teacher, and a mom quickly going insane.

As I was preparing to shower, dress, and ready myself to go into battle with my daughter’s high school principal this morning, I realized that my day to blog here at FAB was today and not tomorrow.

What do I blog about? What do I blog about? What do I…?

I looked over the posts here at FAB and saw a trend of sorts, lol, so I’m going to write about something I discovered last night while talking to my husband, my teens, my teens’ friends, and a couple of my online pals.

I’m intimidating as Hell.

What??? Uh, yeah. I’m intimidating.

I’ve heard that over the years. Even in high school, girls would come up to me and say, “Ya know, I always thought you’d thrash my ass if I tried to talk to you, but once I did, I realized that you’re really nice, funny, and super easy to talk to.”

So why do people think I’m intimidating? My oldest daughter says it’s because I have dark eyes and a very penetrating way of looking at–or through–people when I’m talking to them or watching them. My dau’s bff said it’s because my temper is intense and I’m unpredictable. My youngest dau said that it’s because I have a way of speaking and holding myself that shows I won’t put up with any crap. The hubby insists that I just have an aura that says, ‘don’t piss with  me’ and then add that to my dark eyes and manner of studying someone or making eye contact with them that it freaks people out.

{Shakes head} The thing is that I didn’t REALLY know people felt this way until the past couple of days. Children I don’t know will come up to me and talk my ear off, want me to spend time with them, and remember me from then on, making it a point to seek me out at school or wherever, but adults are afraid to approach me? It just doesn’t make any sense.

My dau’s boyfriend said he was terrified of talking to me about important things because he figured I’d thrash his ass. Again…what??? I replied that I’m one of the most laid back, easygoing people he’ll ever meet. And he remarked that those are the ones you gotta watch out for, lmao.

This made me pause, however. I now worry that when it comes book-signing time readers be afraid to approach me.  Do I sit there with a maniacal smile pasted on my face in the hopes I won’t intimidate anyone?

Is there a magic pill for this condition?

Well, for now, I’ll just utilize it to freak out the moron of a high school principal this morning.

Mwahahaha!

…of the fence, that is!

Twice recently I’ve had the chance to put down my poacher’s bag and take up my gamekeeper’s gun as part of an acquisitions team for a charity anthology of short stories. As an experience ‘on the other side of the fence’ it was by turns inspirational, educational and exasperating. Why exasperating? Because there I was, this naïve little author with all sorts of assumptions that were about to be turned on their heads.  

You know, I thought people would read the guidelines before they sent us submissions. That if we said “We want a short story,” they wouldn’t send us a novella. But they did. And when we said, “Please don’t submit fanfic” that they wouldn’t send us fanfic. But they did. And then they’d get into a great long e-mail correspondence arguing that their offering somehow wasn’t fanfic even when it was.  

I’ve since found out that there’s a condition where children think that the rules are there to apply to other people and that they’re somehow exempt. It can manifest itself in schools where they tell their mates off for running in the corridors but go mad if anyone tells them off for the same thing. Maybe these authors had the same problem? Whatever it was it, in the immortal words of my 16 year old daughter, “Did my head in.”

So I started thinking about all the other times I’ve seen ‘it applies to you and not to me’ going on around me. First thing I thought of was driving, where the bigger and more expensive your car, the more likely you are to think you’re exempt from the Highway code. Then I thought of queues, where the people who moan loudest and longest about the way the person at the checkout is taking forever are the ones who can’t seem to find their shopping bags/wallet/credit card when it’s their turn.

I wonder if it’s just an element of human nature, that rich tapestry of life?  As part of my ‘other job’ I get to talk to schoolchildren about their learning. When you ask them if anything stops them learning the answer is usually, “Other people mucking around.” Never them, of course; certainly surveys suggest that children rate their own behaviour much more highly than that of their peers and I bet we all tend to do the same when we look at our kids compared to other people’s.

Perhaps I’ll be more understanding, if there’s a next time, about the submissions-guidelines breakers. Still won’t let their stories through, though.

For the writers among you the concept of a muse is accepted. For the readers in the audience it may be a bit unsettling to hear writers talk about invisible people that only writers can see or hear. But after hanging around writers for awhile it becomes commonplace. A rather terse e-mail from a woman the other day regarding the ramblings on a list about my muse has prompted this blog. The woman, who I’ll call Agatha because I really can’t stand that name, is neither a writer or a reader of what I write. I know- that fact alone should have kept the e-mail from getting any further than the delete button. But being the open minded person I am I read the whole thing AND responded with a rather polite thank you. BUT it did give me something to blog about. So, Agatha, if you’re out there and reading this…..Kiss My Ass. Yep. I said it and I meant it. For the rest of you, please read on.

Jaymes is my muse. I hired him from the temp service Fairy Godparents and Muses Inc. last May. He was hired to stand in for Delfyne, the muse I had since I turned 12 and she showed up in my bedroom in her Grecian outfit accompanied by her dog Ralph. Delfyne and I had a little misunderstanding about changing from writing Male/Female historical romance to strictly M/M in any subgenre. She took off for Vegas with Ralph and I found Jaymes. Again, for the writers out there this makes perfect sense. For the readers well…..not much I can say by way of explanation. This is how writer’s minds work and why we get the looks we get in the mall when we people watch. But back to Jaymes and the reason Agatha was madder then a wet hen when she e-mailed me.

Jaymes first and foremost is a construct. He has the looks of a model friend and the voice of a musician I happen to be in serious lust with. He has attitude issues, likes to think his word is law and like me is easily distracted by a good looking guy in a pair of very tight jeans. Oh yeah!!!!! Stonewashed 501’s really do the trick…….Ahem, back to Agatha. The reason Agatha was so upset, it seems, was because Jaymes, a product of MY overactive imagination and inability to keep my head out of men’s pants is portrayed as gay.

GASP! A GAY MUSE?!

No doubt. He gets all starry eyed whenever we talk about Jaime’s muse Timothy. And you can forget about getting any work done when AJ talks about John Barrowman. Jaymes just gets this glazed look in his eyes and walks out of my head for a few hours. Anyway, Agatha’s beef amounted to the rights of my muse to be straight. She said, in the span of a three page e-mail, I had no right to make him gay.

WHAT?? Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

He’s a figment of my imagination. I can make him yellow, pink or purple, from the planet Saturn, gay, straight, asexual or bi if I want to. I’ll say this again-he is a product of MY over sexed imagination. Ah but there’s the problem she said. You created a being not unlike giving birth to a child and predisposing them to be of a particular sexual orientation is unjust.

HUH? WHAT?

I write about two guys having sex. Why in the world would I create a muse that is straight? And of course the follow up question would be Why are you messing around at a website that is advertised very clearly to be for a writer of GAY ROMANCE? And there in is the real reason I brought dear old misguided Agatha to this blog today. Being gay is not a choice any more than being straight is a choice. We are each hardwired at conception to be who we are. Railing at a gay man or woman about their sexual orientation is a waste of time. Telling me I have no right to envision Jaymes as gay is an even bigger waste of time. I have no clue why Jaymes sexual preference would bother someone but then again I have never understood the entire California gay pogo stick – we allow gay marriage, now we don’t – thing. Nuff said. I’ll blog about gay marriage and the idiots who oppose it another day.

So, in closing I have just one last thing to say to Agatha and any pinhead or dimwit out there who wants to stomp on my right to be gay and have a gay muse. I would ask you to please take another look at the disclaimer on the home page of my website after which I cordially invite you to BITE ME!

TTFN