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	<title>Flirty Author Bitches &#187; lesbian</title>
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		<title>This Girl Really Listens</title>
		<link>http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/2012/01/this-girl-really-listens/</link>
		<comments>http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/2012/01/this-girl-really-listens/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jan 2012 07:14:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Giselle Renarde</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[angels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[erotica]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[giselle renarde]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lesbian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[publishing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/?p=995</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tweet Nearly four years into our relationship, my girlfriend and I still go on dates. Big dates, little dates, fancy dates, simple dates&#8230; it&#8217;s wonderful. Today was a donut date. Très cas(ual). So, my Sweet and I were sitting there in Tim Hortons, drinking our coffees and eating our pastries, and she started talking about [...]]]></description>
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			</div><div style="clear:both"></div><div style="padding-bottom:4px;"></div><p>Nearly four years into our relationship, my girlfriend and I still go on dates. Big dates, little dates, fancy dates, simple dates&#8230; it&#8217;s wonderful.</p>
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<div>Today was a donut date. Très cas(ual).</div>
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<div>So, my Sweet and I were sitting there in Tim Hortons, drinking our coffees and eating our pastries, and she started talking about my work&#8211;writing, that is. I&#8217;m a full-time writer. Writing devours my days, and sometimes I feel like a really tedious partner because I talk about my projects ad nauseam.</div>
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<div>But today it wasn&#8217;t me talking about my books, it was Sweet excitedly discussing my projects, using industry jargon, offering advice and opinions and help&#8230; and that&#8217;s when I thought to myself, &#8220;Wow! This girl really listens.&#8221;</div>
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<p><img style="float: left;margin: 0 10px 10px 0;cursor: hand;width: 213px;height: 320px" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MC8PeZyLZsM/Tx5YmD2PsII/AAAAAAAACUk/W7dKnY5Uf1Q/s320/onlyangels.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></p>
<div>I guess I&#8217;m used to everybody else in my life not listening and not caring, especially when it comes to the publishing industry and my little plot therein. My family is terrible when it comes to listening. If I start talking about current writing projects, they change the subject. It gets me feeling like nobody cares, or they have some moral objection to my career, or they think it&#8217;s icky.</div>
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<div>My mother is the worst.</div>
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<div>Yeah, yeah, everybody blames moms for everything, but if you&#8217;ve ever read <a href="http://www.excessica.com/books/index.php?main_page=product_info&amp;cPath=12&amp;products_id=288">Only Angels</a> or <a href="http://store.secretcravingspublishing.com/index.php?main_page=book_info&amp;cPath=33&amp;products_id=232">Wonderful Wing Boys</a>, my character Deb who won&#8217;t take her eyes off her BlackBerry? That&#8217;s my mom.</div>
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<div>Yes, Deb is based on my mother. Yes, that&#8217;s weird. Yes, I know. Let&#8217;s not get too Freudian about it.</div>
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<p><img style="float: right;margin: 0 0 10px 10px;cursor: hand;width: 214px;height: 320px" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3vZEpEf7Fn0/Tx5YcAkZggI/AAAAAAAACUY/zLN9QUuNYdA/s320/WonderfulWingBoys_Draft.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></p>
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<div>The point is, every time I call my mother (I always phone her house number) I hear her attention shift away from me, and I know where it&#8217;s gone. I ask her, &#8220;Are you texting?&#8221; and the answer is always yes&#8211;unless she&#8217;s sending an email. Either way, it&#8217;s always BlackBerry-related. She&#8217;s like a 60-year-old teenager. It&#8217;s ridiculous.</div>
<div></div>
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<div>So that&#8217;s what I&#8217;m dealing with when I try to have conversations with my family. And that&#8217;s why it&#8217;s so refreshing to hear my girlfriend using industry terms she only knows because she&#8217;s heard me using them. When I mention the name of another author or one of my editors or publishers, Sweet knows who I&#8217;m talking about. We have real, deep conversations because when I talk, she listens.</div>
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<div>She listens!</div>
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<div>Maybe I had seriously low expectations before this relationship, I don&#8217;t know, but I guess I&#8217;ve always expected my words to float into the ether after they left my mouth. I&#8217;m still getting used to this idea that I say things and she acknowledges them, and contributes thoughts of her own. It&#8217;s pretty kick-ass.</div>
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<div>But when she talks, do I listen? Hmm&#8230; if you asked the Magic 8-Ball, it just might tell you to concentrate and ask again.</div>
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<div>Hugs,</div>
<div>Giselle</div>
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, fantasy">&#8211;</span></div>
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;font-size: small"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;font-size: small"><a href="http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica" target="_blank">Giselle Renarde </a></span></span></p>
<div>
<p><a href="http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica" target="_blank"><em>Canada just got hotter!</em></a></p>
<p>Visit me online<br />
<a href="http://donutsdesires.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://donutsdesires.blogspot.com</a><br />
<a href="http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica" target="_blank">http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica</a><br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/GiselleRenarde" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/GiselleRenarde</a></p>
</div>
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<hr/>Copyright &copy; 2012 <strong><a href="http://flirtyauthorbitches.com">Flirty Author Bitches</a></strong>. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact winter@winterheart.com so we can take legal action immediately.<br/><span style="float: right;font-size: 7pt"><a href="http://blog.taragana.com/index.php/archive/wordpress-plugins-provided-by-taraganacom/">Plugin</a> by <a href="http://www.taragana.com/">Taragana</a></span><div class="bottomcontainerBox" style="border:1px solid #808080;background-color:#F0F4F9;">
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		<title>Thoughts on the Man with the Chest</title>
		<link>http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/2011/10/thoughts-on-the-man-with-the-chest/</link>
		<comments>http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/2011/10/thoughts-on-the-man-with-the-chest/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:29:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Giselle Renarde</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alpha male]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Erotic Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[giselle renarde]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heteromance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lesbian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[queer fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[transgender]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/?p=591</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tweet My goodness, disembodied torso, what a fabulous chest you have!I see that you’re paired with a gorgeous woman on this cover.I guess that means you’re straight.I’m also going to assume, based on the fact that you have no head, that you are driven entirely by your animal nature.If there were a wolf on this [...]]]></description>
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			</div><div style="clear:both"></div><div style="padding-bottom:4px;"></div><p><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OH6hIYAatCY/TmfDuoe8dGI/AAAAAAAABwg/JVfLndaI3e0/s1600/man%2Btorso%2Bwoman.jpg"><img style="float: left;margin: 0 10px 10px 0;cursor: hand;width: 214px;height: 320px" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OH6hIYAatCY/TmfDuoe8dGI/AAAAAAAABwg/JVfLndaI3e0/s320/man%2Btorso%2Bwoman.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia">My goodness, disembodied torso, what a fabulous chest you have!</span></em><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia">I see that you’re paired with a gorgeous woman on this cover.</span></em><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia">I guess that means you’re straight.</span></em><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia">I’m also going to assume, based on the fact that you have no head, that you are driven entirely by your animal nature.</span></em><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia">If there were a wolf on this cover, I’d be convinced.</span></em><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia">But even without the wolf, I’m sure you’re a man’s man with your feelings buried deep inside, where only this woman, who is so much like me we could paste my picture over her face, can find them.</span></em><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia">Men like you are my secret desire.</span></em></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">…actually…they’re not.Not MINE, which puts me in the minority around the romance community.But that’s okay, I’ll just sit in my corner with my head against the wall, scribbling away about queers like me.(As a queer woman, I am allowed to say that.Don’t call in the referee just yet.)I’m a loner anyway. And maybe someday someone will discover one of my stories curled up in a bottle and find they actually like it.Maybe.Some day.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Okay, I’m being a little melodramatic here.All I really intended to write about (in a totally non-melodramatic way) was that the stuff readers love, devour, guiltlessly consume, is exactly the stuff I don’t write.So, the bestsellers, the money-makers, the man-with-the-chest books… they’re not mine.That’s not what I write.It would really help pay the rent if I did…but I don’t.</p>
<p><img style="float: left;margin: 0 10px 10px 0;cursor: hand;width: 320px;height: 226px" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1-FV6FjB_14/TmfDg6iXqLI/AAAAAAAABwY/Ot8um3PjxM8/s320/funny%2Bsilly%2Bnaked%2Bmen.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I actually have a story to accompany this confession.It’s kind of a nice story.About a month ago, I was approached by a publisher I work with often and love, love, love.They wrote to tell me the love is mutual, so much so that they wanted to commission some novellas from me for a new erotic romance line they’re looking to introduce.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Wow!That was a huge compliment.I felt all warm and fuzzy until I read the submissions guidelines for the line: hetero only, no gay content, no BDSM. Must feature a “strong Alpha Male hero” and “feisty” but loveable heroine.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, I’m sure the majority of romance writers would crack their knuckles, lick their lips, and pound one out on the keyboard (a story, of course), but all I could do was stare at those words, “strong Alpha Male” and…okay, I admit it, I cringed a little bit.I did.Strong Alpha Males have got to be my biggest turn-off in the history of everything.Maybe it’s a “lesbian thing,” but I don’t think that’s it, not entirely.I suspect there are women out there who identify as straight and would agree with this appraisal.The grunting, salivating, dominating and domineering “man with the chest” is…yucky.Yes, I realize he is the fantasy of the many, but he is sooooo not mine.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And please don’t get me started on how much I hate hearing a woman described as “feisty”—my feminist Spidey Sense finds “feisty” an infantilizing word, in that it minimizes women who speak out against patriarchal oppressions of all kinds, including unwanted male attention…but I said I wasn’t going to start, didn’t I?So I won’t.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, I went back and forth a lot on this one.It was an honour to be asked to produce work for a new line.The publishers knew they were taking a chance, setting foot outside their normal terrain, and they asked me to come with them.I never want to end up in anybody’s bad books, and I feel like turning down work is just…not a good idea generally.But I knew in my gut what they were asking for was not consistent with the work I produce.It didn’t appeal to me, and I really didn’t feel I could make a story work if neither my heart nor my hips were invested in the project.</p>
<p><img style="float: right;margin: 0 0 10px 10px;cursor: hand;width: 320px;height: 214px" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g8xzpNMCnyA/TmfDMFRww5I/AAAAAAAABwQ/rMMYVMoVOt0/s320/cheerleader%2Bmen.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I said to myself, “You’re a writer—you should be able to produce any kind of story you’re asked to.”And maybe I <span style="font-style: italic">could</span>…but just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.(The KFC double down is an excellent example—you can probably afford to buy yourself bacon sandwiched between two deep-fried pieces of chicken, but does that mean it’s a good idea?)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the end, I wrote my publisher back and politely declined the commission.It means a lot to me that I can devote my time to writing queer fiction, fiction that appeals to me and that represents who I am in this world.A lot of readers love the man with the chest, but a lot of writers write him.In fact, I’m sure the number of books of this type currently on the market far exceeds the demand for them.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And let me clarify: I don’t have anything against people who write the man with the chest, or people who read him.It’s just not to my taste, just like my transgender stories, or my lesbian stories, or my bisexual or otherwise queer stories, or my adultery stories, or my hipster stories, or my stories that are erotic without any romantic component at all…aren’t to everybody’s taste.That’s cool.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Before I hop away, I should also mention that I often hear writers stating, with the voice of absolute authority, that ALL women love the man with the chest.Some say that it’s a “natural” component of a woman’s existence to love the Strong Alpha Male, and…kids, that’s not cool. It places me, my taste, and my sexuality under erasure, and I have no desire to be erased.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If I&#8217;m writing about guys, they&#8217;re probably going to be shy or nerdy or guilt-ridden or, or, or&#8230; There are exceptions, I&#8217;m sure, and I don&#8217;t write any of this to be unpopular, but the Man with the Chest? He&#8217;s not for me. Which is okay, because if you like him&#8230;more chests for you! <img src='http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Hugs,</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica" target="_blank">Giselle Renarde</a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica" target="_blank">Canada just got hotter!</a></p>
<p>Giselle Renarde is author of:<br />
<a href="http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/redsatinchristmas.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-592" src="http://flirtyauthorbitches.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/redsatinchristmas-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Red-Satin-Christmas-ebook/dp/B005VFFPXG/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1319516616&amp;sr=1-2" target="_blank">Red Satin Christmas</a></p>
<p>What fun would a family Christmas be if everybody got along?</p>
<p>This is a Christmas of firsts for girlfriends Regan and Maisie. Maisie hasn&#8217;t returned to her hometown since beginning her transition from male to female. Her mother and sisters welcome her with open arms, but what about brother Jerry? Is he just going to ignore her forever? And who is this mystery woman he&#8217;s brought home for the holidays?</p>
<p>Regan figures she&#8217;s just along for the ride, lending her girlfriend support, until Maisie&#8217;s mother surprises her with a special dinner guest. Regan hasn&#8217;t spoken to her hard-drinking Cree father in years, and he&#8217;s the last person in the world she wants to sit across from at Christmas dinner. Can Regan finally trust the man who&#8217;s once again claimed to have changed for good?</p>
<p>Together, Regan and Maisie face drama beyond their wildest imaginings. Will their trials during this eventful family Christmas challenge their bond&#8230; or vanquish their limitations?</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Red-Satin-Christmas-ebook/dp/B005VFFPXG/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1319516616&amp;sr=1-2" target="_blank">Available Now!</a></p>
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